Should or Could?

How well do you handle “hurry”?  Do you go about your day breathless and stressed out trying to accomplish and do?  With all the rushing here, going there and living by the clock, it’s a wonder we’re ever able to appreciate the spontaneous moments not pre-ordained by a calendar or email reminder.

Our Women’s Ministry group had a luncheon a couple years ago, and something our guest speaker said stuck with me all this time.  She pointed out something we can all do to relieve some of the stress we feel at the end of the day when we may or may not have crossed off all the items from our to-do list. 

To start, think of all the things you “should” have done this morning.  I know – guilt, guilt, guilt.  Maybe you should have set the alarm 30 minutes earlier, or you should have called that person you’ve wanted to reconnect with, or maybe you should have thawed out something for dinner tonight.

The stress comes into play with the word “should” because it implies we’ve fallen down on the job; haven’t quite lived up to what’s expected of us.

So…regain that control by replacing “should” with “could”.  Isn’t that awesome?   If you say you “could” have done this or that, it implies that you had the choice!  You knowingly chose one over the other, and you relieve yourself of the stress associated with “should.”

I so appreciate the ministry of Sam Kauffman (A Servant’s Heart Ministry) and the valuable tools that have resonated with me all this time.  Find out more about Sam’s unique ministry at http://www.samkservantsheart.com/index.php/bio/ . 

Hello!  I'm so glad you could join me.  I’m sitting here feeling really guilty today.

I just came in from the garden, and I’m now officially ashamed to even call myself a “gardener”.  The entire thing is overgrown and full of weeds.  The soil is parched and dry, deplete of all the good stuff that used to give my little space that "wow" factor.

What amazes me, however is despite my neglect, my complete lack of attention, the garden is thriving anyway!  All my roses are loaded with new buds.  The tall verbena bonariensis is a magnet for butterflies and hummingbirds.  The black-eyed Susan vine and morning glories are busy scrambling up fence posts and the clematis is putting on quite the show with her dramatic ascension toward the top of the arbor, just as I’d hoped.  As I stood smiling at all the life going on without me, I actually thought of this scripture – no kidding!  I really did:

“It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be

prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be

pastors and teachers…” (Eph. 4:11)

If God has called you to bloom, then rest assured, you WILL bloom despite opposition or negative elements in your environment.  The barriers you see in your path are nothing to the Lord - He already knew of each obstacle long ago. Still, He chose you and equipped you to live out your particular purpose in life, to thrive in a barren land and to rely solely on the sustaining power...of Jesus.

Habakkuk 2:3- "But these things I plan won't happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take 

place. It will not be delayed."

Joy Stealers!

You know you’ve had a rotten day when…..you give in to tears when the pizza delivery guy shows up at the door, and you start explaining all that’s gone wrong with your day and how you deserve a night off of cooking dinner because you had a gas leak in the garage that could have blown your entire house clear to the Pearly Gates, and how you had to drive all over God’s creation on your only day off with no air conditioner and a stereo that doesn’t work, and your daughter dropped the “H” bomb at you in a scathing text message right after your husband came home to grab his bag that you packed in a hurry because he didn’t know if he would make his flight, and even though you remembered his high blood pressure meds, you forgot to include his shorty socks for running in the morning as well as the EXACT shirt he was thinking of packing!.......(deep breath) It's no wonder when you called to order pizza and they offered salads or breadsticks, you answered, “No, thanks – just a large Advil, please!”

Uggh!  Lord, take it all away!

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome

the world." (John 16:33) NIV

So, now that you know how my Monday went, tell me.....who or what is determined to steal your joy today?  Family members?  In-laws?  Finances?  Trouble at work?  Perhaps a personal struggle or addiction...maybe a gas leak and a hormonal 15-year-old?

John 10:10-11 says:  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; 

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  I am the 

good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."  

God's Word proves again and again that through Him we have the authority to look every "joy stealer" straight in the eye and declare them "overcome."  I realize how difficult it is when we're in the middle of the battle, but remember that as a child of God, we've been granted a peace that transcends all understanding; a gift handed down to you and me by the One - the ONLY One who has overcome the world!  Don't let anyone steal your joy today!

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

(Phil 4:4-9)

School Daze

Come on in and join me.  Sorry if you caught me a little misty-eyed.

Thirteen years ago today, more or less, I took my little kindergartener by the hand and walked him to the school right around the corner.  He didn’t say much on the way.  He was just so proud of his brand new backpack as he helped me push his little sister in the stroller.

Apparently, his calm, cool and collected exterior was only a façade.  Dropping him off that morning, I had no clue he was about to spend the next 2 hours in the princible’s office wailing away!   To this day, my son remains the poster child all the teachers use to illustrate endurance and stamina – apparently, no other kid has cried louder or longer!  His screams pierced through classrooms 3 halls away distracting students and teachers almost into 2^nd period.  Unfortunately, the 2^nd day was a carbon copy of the first.

The third day?  Daddy took him…..

And it seems like just yesterday when I gave him a haircut a day or two before 2^nd grade.  A novice with the clippers, I held the buzzing thing next to his head as he turned to ask a question.  Zzzip! – nothing but skin! 

No problem.  I just did what all creative moms do, and pulled the brand new chunky brown Crayola marker out of his little backpack and filled in the bare spot!  After all, I’d just bought the supplies for “school,” and the plan was to send him off to 2^nd grade…with no bald spots.

This morning, I’m driving him to his first day of college (junior college up the road).  I’m sure he’s dealing with a similar type of “first-day jitters,” but nothing he can’t handle.  The campus is completely foreign to him; certainly not within walking distance.  He’ll have to navigate, ask a lot of questions and figure things out for himself.  I’m not worried.  I know he’ll do fine.

I’m proud of the young man he’s become.  I’ve never had the fears and worries so many other parents of teens face these days.  He’s always made good choices for the most part.  I’m thankful he’s learned to say “yes” to some things, and “no” to others.  The Lord has watched over him and kept him safe.  He’s chosen good friends and good hobbies, still gives good-night hugs to me and my husband and remembers to thank the Lord for every meal.

He has said good-bye this weekend to friends who are going away to college, and in another two weeks there will be a more emotional farewell as a best friend leaves for the Air Force.  I knew this “phase” in life would one day arrive – I just didn’t anticipate we’d fast-forward to this moment.  Perhaps that’s why I write this particular post through bittersweet tears.

Lord Jesus, I ask your special blessing on all the young men and women, those newly-graduated from high school, as they prepare to take all they’ve been taught, all they’ve been given, the lessons they’ve learned, the nurturing and love they’ve received…so that they may explore this next season of life.  I pray for your protection upon them and ask that you guide each one to embrace opportunities you present, and to use discernment when facing difficult decisions.  Love them.  Comfort them.  Protect them.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Weeds

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

They pop up in the most undesired places.  We spot them, and immediately label them persistent, invasive intruders snaking around the garden eager to kill, steal and destroy all that is beautiful and good.  Left uncontrolled, weeds visually strangle the very life from the garden; some forming long, spider-like tendrils that stretch and creep, deliberately detracting from the hard-earned beauty of our outdoor spaces.  They’re jealous enemies, determined to steal the show and demand our attention.  

Luckily, some bear shallow enough root systems which allow them to be easily plucked, while others plunge their roots down deep, threatening to burden and hinder indefinitely.

It seems no matter how diligent we work to rid our gardens and our lives of these annoying elements, one has to consider the possibility that God chooses to let some weeds remain. 

But why?

Do they in some strange way add character to the garden?

Do they somehow make us stronger?  Live longer?  Look younger? 

It’s a given that the Christian walk isn’t without its trials.  Inevitably, the storm clouds will gather and the challenges will be many, but remember John 16:33:  

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

So, why does God allow the weeds to remain in our lives?  Perhaps the answer isn’t ours to learn - God owes us no explanations.  However, whether in the garden or in our life situations, the deepest-rooted weeds are best dealt with on our knees. 

Just Pray!

Good morning! 

Uh-oh.  You look a little discouraged today.

Have you prayed about it?

I know that sometimes when we pray, it feels like we’re just speaking words into the air, not thinking beyond our own aching heart.

But God does hear, and He knows the emotion and angst behind each one.  1 John 5:14-15 tells us “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

I’ll share a secret with you.  I spent years frustrated with myself; no that’s an understatement.  I was caught up and strangled with an inner turmoil that only God could unravel.  I struggled with wanting to do more.  Wanting to BE more.  Of course, I was thankful for the many blessings God has granted me, but deep inside I knew I was not living a completely fulfilled life.  I cried out to God in prayer many times with no response.  Until finally one day, His answer was almost audible.  Why?  Simply because I changed the way I prayed.

I’d just dropped my daughter off at school, and like every other day, I began praying to God on the way home.  I spoke words I thought He wanted to hear.  The stuff you hear everyone else pray. 

“Thank you, Lord for this day….yawn.  Please be with my family.  Be in all I do and say, yada, yada, yada…”  yawn…..

I mumbled the words over the top of my travel mug just like every other day until it struck me:  what an insult to God to give Him the mundane!  Here He was, as He was all those other mornings waiting, ready to receive my prayers and to receive so much more than that, and I chose to give Him about as much authority over my prayers as I would my dog!

I am a child of the most high God.  He wants all of me, and he doesn’t want it half-heartedly.  He deserves so much more than a pathetic request yawned over a travel mug.  He alone has the power to change it all right then and there, so that gives us the opportunity and the power to

Pray from a heart of victory; not a spirit of defeat.

That’s the day – the very moment the Lord told me to write for him!  All my creative energy belonged to Him to be used for His purpose – MY struggle was over.

Of course, that revelation alone did not lift all the clouds away, but it certainly released me of the burden I’d carried far too long.

We can pray like we mean it – after all, we’re praying to the One who conquered the grave!  Know, without a doubt, that the cries of your heart are being heard by the Creator.

Give it all to Him.

Don’t take it back.

And through His strength, His power and His love for You, He will lift you high above all that weighs you down in this world.  He hears your prayers, and when you release that authority over to Him, trust Him to help you learn to float on the breath of God.

Check out my article on Gifted Women at:  http://giftedwomen.net/articles/20100809_2

Hiking Trip

Good morning.  Come have a seat and join me - just poured 2 cups of coffee, so you're just in time.

My husband and son are away on their annual week of male bonding in the woods. They’re part of a small group of men, engineers mostly, who enjoy the escape from work and wives to commune with the great outdoors.  It’s their once-a-year opportunity to drive up a 2-lane road, straddling the yellow line at whatever speed they choose, compare “manly” noises around the campfire well into the night and snore the bears away without the nuisance of being jabbed in the ribs and asked, ever so sweetly, to flop over and face the other direction.

I think my guys brought a total of 4 changes of underwear between the two of them.  Not sure what else they stuffed into their packs last minute, but I’d bet you a cup of coffee it wasn’t deodorant!

I have to say the house is much quieter with them gone – well, sort of.  They left me here with my very moody 15 year-old texting machine and her booked up social calendar.

Of course, I miss my men and pray for their safety…but it is rather nice/wonderful to watch an entire TV show without the threat of someone’s trigger-happy finger eager to channel surf between every sentence!

I’ve caught up on some reading, some writing, some cooking, some simple, do-nothing moments where I’m quite content to listen to the rhythm of the hands ticking away on the clock.

Soft jazz and classical music have temporarily replaced the 7:30am trumpet scales that normally blast through the house, force us all awake (like it or not) and send the wild golden finches scrambling Heavenward.

In these precious few days of peace and tranquility, I’ve had time to think.  Time to dream.  Time to hear God’s voice and meditate on His Word.

Do I feel guilty for enjoying the men’s annual hike as much as they are?  Of course not.  God knew how much we all needed to power down for awhile, so He ordained this time for each of us to recharge and renew in our own way.  I’m good with that.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

—John 14:27

Check out my article on Gifted Women at http://giftedwomen.net/articles/20100809_2