I battled a few dark clouds yesterday…..and won.
The Lord brought me to a quiet place just as the last rays of summer bronze melted down the black-eyed Susan vine. Just as the hum of a day spent in the shadows dissolved with the setting sun and flower heads in the garden turned down for the night.
That’s when I found my spot among the pillows on the couch with Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” open and full of hope and promise across my lap. The words – I read them twice – they jumped from the page and into my heart and I knew it was of the Lord; His comfort and His answer yet again just when I needed it most. Me useless and wavering and Him faithful once again. After a day of lifting weak arms; whispering, muttering breath prayers constant, without ceasing, He offered these words:
“As long as you think you are of value to Him He cannot choose you because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you allow him to take you to the end of your own self sufficiency, then he can choose you to go with him [to Jerusalem] and that will mean the fulfillment of purposes which he does not discuss with you.” (See Luke 18:31)
Hallelujah, the struggle isn’t mine…or yours! I often lose site of the goal when I’m stuck in the process. It’s the details, the why, when and where that bog me down…consume me when all I need to do is trust and obey, to clear the fog brought on by my own doing – not His.
“Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.” (Psalm 37:5-6) NIV