I set the last plate to rest in the dishwasher and swirl the towel across the counter completely distracted and lost in the questions still circling in my head: Why do I blog and what exactly do I hope to accomplish with it or with my writing in general? Who do I want to reach and what do I want them to know? And when did my love of something so personal as writing/blogging turn into what some people nowadays call a “ministry”? I shake my head and stare off over the top of my coffee cup toward the pepper trees, and I watch a trio of ring-neck doves flutter wings and land light-footed on the lawn beneath.
Don’t we all have a “ministry” of sorts…living, sharing and professing what we believe?
My dream had always been to be a mystery series book author for children until that day when the Lord grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to write for Him. I had my dreams, my plans all laid across a bumpy, dirt road with plenty of pot holes and strange twists. I’ve since switched to the paved road and though it’s a little uneven at times, I know I’m supposed to press on.
But negativity’s been jabbing its pointy finger at me about this lately. I quickly started down that old way of thinking and comparing myself to those who have their ministries and platforms firmly in place, established and deeply rooted. The comparing quickly turned to whining, so I poured out these thoughts – maybe you can relate:
- You’re not going to have the same message or ministry as any other gal out there. You’re going to reach exactly who God wants you to reach, and you’re going to grab them by the heart in a way that is uniquely you if you’re truly following the will of the Lord.
- You were designed to be YOUR best and to do YOUR best – not someone else’s. But the nagging voice comes back and argues, “Me? What do I really have to offer? What new and wonderful piece of information could I possibly relate that hasn’t been shared already?”
- Don’t look to the accomplishments of others as a scale for yourself! You’re not going to look like her, sound like her, write like her or follow her same footsteps to “success,” whatever that may be. Her ministry is hers set forth by God – you have your own. Instead, embrace the words, the messages He’s given you and tell them with anticipation knowing that someone somewhere out there is hungry for them. That "someone" needs you! She’s hurting. She may be feeling overlooked today, neglected, transparent, unappreciated and unloved, and you have to remind her that those feelings are not from God. She has to know that her dreams and goals matter, that God designed her with particular gifts and that she’s strong enough, important enough to see them through. She has to hear it and hear it now before the negative consumes the positive…before it’s too late and her faith is shattered forever. With all your heart, shine the light of Jesus.
My heart races with the thought and my creased brow falls to a smile as the doves take flight over the garden. They perch on the fence and stare back at me and I realize they’re sitting still as stone…watching, waiting for my next move.