Thursday, December 9, 2010

It Only Hurts When I Love

I don’t think I’ll ever understand the mystery that lies in the murky waters that flow and sometimes stagnate between mother and daughter.

There’s a significant transformation that takes place when the teen years set in that somehow morph a perfectly sweet, innocent, pony-tail bearing, giggly girl into a fire-breathing, venom-spewing, ulcer-inducing…..oh, sorry. Now you know how my morning went!

Whether a child, a spouse or any other person who owns a significant piece of your heart, it seems those we hold the closest also possess the power to hurt us to the core. Their love touches and grips like none other, yet also pierces the heart with jagged words that resonate deep within long after the door slams. It’s the kind of hurt that leaves you wounded, examining yourself and doubting your motives.

But I’ve come to understand and believe that the only way in which to overcome the hurt and ultimately undermine the one intent on inflicting pain is simply consistency:

  • Consistency in our love
  • Consistency in our reactions
  • Consistency in our forgiveness
  • Consistency in who we are as individuals

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and
God in him. (1 John 4:16) NIV

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35-39) NIV

Lord Jesus,

I pray and ask that you would guard the hearts and minds of those often the target of defiance and pain. I pray that you would not allow hurtful tendencies of others to soil or tarnish the work you’ve begun in us. Equip us and help us to live consistently yours, strong in our beliefs, patient and bearing with one another, and not as martyrs quick to bear scars of resentment. Help us to consistently train up our children in the way they should go, and may we consistently look to you as we sometimes strive to love the unlovely. In Jesus’ name. Amen.


  1. Love does hurt but the beauty I am finding in it is that I can't love with what I know I have to ask Jesus to teach me to love like He does..When I love like He does and see it through His eyes the hurt is not as what I remember because it's something different when we love like He does. Each day I am so reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 the Love chapter..

  2. Lovely! I think we need to be more considerate with how we act with those we love instead of more so with strangers. Sadly most people are kinder to strangers than they are to their friends. It's a weird world.

    Be kind to your daughter. :) haha I'm sure you are and I'm sure she had a bad morning too

  3. That's the one thing we can count on with our Lord... His consistency with us. It makes perfect sense that that would be what is needed in parenting our children as well. And the power we need to be consistent is found in Him, praying you find it friend! I'm sorry you had a rough day yesterday :( I hope today was better!

  4. Hi debbie, I saw you had stopped by my blog on my Christian bloggers feed...thanks!I'm 61, so I have been there and done that. Now my daughter considers me her best friend.Hang in there!



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