The sun melted in spills of pink and orange, a ball deflated and spent beyond the ridge casting shadows that stretched like long fingers across the back lawn, and I settled inside, at peace with the opened gift of another day.
Thank you, Lord, I sigh. Thank you for home, family, good days and bad. Thank you for all we were able to accomplish today; the cooking, the cleaning, the straightening up and attempts at organizing of our lives.
All day long, I think “progress”. It feels good to get so much done.
But the Lord keeps saying “forgiveness”.
Forgiveness? Why forgiveness? I wrestle with the term over and over – my day hasn’t been about forgiveness.
But, it has, He reminds me gently…quietly.
He takes me back - way back before ironing husband’s shirts and walking young children to school; back to those few flailing years, fighting and clawing my way through young adulthood like a cat dripping wet and angry to swim; back when I ignored His voice and walked along my tight-rope alone going about life in selfish tangents. Back to a time of which I’m not proud. The memories, they sting and I turn my face away in disgust.
That’s when He closes the book – closes it for good, and lifts me out, brings me back to my full heart and the shadows that stretch even longer still until evening darkness erases them for another day.
I’m not there anymore.
I’m not her anymore.
About this precious man I’ve vowed to share all my tomorrows with. The one who’s held my hand for the birth of every grey hair and fine line; every rise and fall of life.
There had to be forgiveness along the way to receive the fullness of heart today. A forgiveness that melts away the sting of those early years much like that sunset…deflated and spent.
Thank you, God for your gift of forgiveness.
Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
(Isaiah 1:18) NIV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
(2 Corinthians 5:17) NIV